I was hot with desire. Even the cool night air couldn't quench my passion. My hairs were on end, electric energy coursing through my veins. Each exhalation created a new pattern in the air, mesmerizing me until the next one came, repeating like a slide show that only my imagination understood. The changing forms were fed from within, deep in my body, deep in my soul. Tonight was the night; tonight was my night.
The window had been open long enough that my room might have been mistaken for a meat locker. Soon, soon. My naked body should have felt the coldness but it was obsessed with other things this night. If the two candles were giving off any heat it was quickly abducted by the cold. The candles did add to my mood; a mixture of sexuality, resignation, and pure bliss. The circle I sat within encompassed me within it's world, carefully created specifically for this moment. My moment was approaching. Tonight was the night.
Reflections of the moon were like reflections of my life. Each glimmer another moment in time. The moon came streaming through that open window, eager to play witness. I welcomed the company with open arms, understanding why the night was its domain. Because in the darkness all things of the mind could breathe life; all things were possible. Those endless possibilities the reason I was here now. Tonight was my night.
The outside world was dead to me. No one would be there to mourn my passing; passing from one place to another. This was between me and the next world, no one else. Lack of the outside world in this life freed me from concern of what might be left behind. I could focus on the task at hand. I could fulfill my destiny and join my other brothers in a world beyond. Tonight was the night.
As I grasped the cold steel I could sense my warmth spreading along its length, seemingly shimmering with the same excitement I felt. The sharpened steel knew its purpose here and was eager to proceed. The intricate patterns along the shaft had twins within the circle, mirroring each other, dancing their ritual within my head. As the moon's light was grabbed by the edge of the blade, purposeful cuts were made to each of my wrists. The next moments only existed within my mind, inwardly finishing the ritual that would take me home. As conscious thought faded, the moon grew within the red pools beneath me, seemingly caught in the ritualistic circle. Tonight was my night.